For sure I had this in the past (from 1998-2002) – though it was never formally diagnosed. There was not one inch of my body that did not feel excruciating pain all day & all night. I don’t know how I lived through it.
Back then they were calling it Fibromyalgia.
You can choose your purpose. Yep, uh-uh, you can. You don’t have to be knocked off your horse by a flash of light and blinded like Saul in order to discover your purpose. You don’t need to come up with an uber impressive new-agey earth-shattering magnificence beyond the beyond. Anything you love doing that doesn’t feel like drudgery can be a place to start. It may not be where you finish, but you gotta get the starting started.
We all have something to accomplish on this planet. Being gravely ill for years does not aid in the pursuit one’s dreams. In general we are here to be fruitful and multiply and to do our duty to God, family & country. However, each one of us also has a unique purpose for which we came into the world. We were created to create. It’s our job, if you will.
Perhaps you were in the midst of fulfilling your purpose when the dysautonomia thing struck. If so, let’s think about why the dysautonomia thing struck. Were you close to your objective? Were you three feet from gold? If the answer is yes then don’t give up. It was probably old programming dragging you back to where you once thought you were supposed to be. When you have recovered your physical equilibrium, continue on your mission with vigor & determination.
Perhaps though – please be willing to to consider this – perhaps the dysautonomia thing struck because you were attempting to realize the wrong goal – for you. Or perhaps you were blown off course by the winds of a devastating trauma that affected you to your core. If that’s so, dysautonomia probably came to stop you in your tracks and force you to change direction.
Whatever it is, you need something to help reignite the smoldering fire within and give you back your true raison d’être. And that something is: HAVING A WHY.
If you don’t have a WHY – as in WHY you want to be well – you will remain trapped in the dysautonomia paradigm* longer than necessary. How can you do the work you were put here to do, or even discover what your purpose is, if you’re constantly passing out, having cardiac issues, suffering with terrible pain, or [insert symptom here]?
Pssst — this is not a time-factor thing, it’s a spiritual-factor thing. Nobody’s judging you on how long it takes you to be well. Whether it’s one year or 50 years is not the essential part; it’s the getting well that’s the essential part.
No matter what shape you’re in, you can still figure out your WHY. Your mind is the most important place in the world, and that’s where the heart holds your why. In the mind is where you truly reside. The five senses try to convince you you are a body that happens to have a soul. The truth is you are a soul using a body to get you through this testing ground called Earth.
What you need to aim for eventually is to getting YOUR WHY written down. Ask yourself these questions & really dig deep:
JUST START.
Download & print MY WHY so you can write it down – if you’re up to it. If not, just imagine it. There’s something so spiritually powerful though about putting pen to paper. I recommend that method over computer or cell phone. Whether on paper or in the mind, the main thing is to get it done. Keep refining your goals as you go along. Setbacks don’t matter. What matters is you having faith in your ability to heal.
*Negative Paradigm: defeatist thoughts & unhelpful habits that run through your mind controlling you, whether or not you are aware of them. When you attempt to “change the paradigm,” that is, change the habitual patterns you have carried out mindlessly for years, perhaps decades, the paradigm will do everything in its power to stop you. You must take command away from these detrimental misconceptions & inappropriate actions and finally become the commander of your own life. The only power they have over you is the power you give them. Work at building a mountain of powerful positive thoughts until they outweigh the handicapping negative thoughts. By doing so you will have broken the frame of old paradigm and changed the course of your life. You can do it!
This image depicts very well what it’s like to daily survive dysautonomia’s relentless attacks on body & being.
The attacks come every second of every day, from every possible direction. It’s a miracle we do not drown in the sea of perpetual pain and our ever fading resilience.
No, we are not God walking on water. God is seeing us through. He is the invisible hand holding us up atop the turbulent ocean of dysautonomia life.
As He reached out His hand to the fearful Peter who, from a sudden lack of faith, sank beneath the water like a stone, so He is reaching out to us. “Nothing is wanting to him who possesses God.” So possess Him. Have faith and possess Him in your heart – where He always resides.
This picture is our strength and our hope. Our job is to persevere. Never ever ever ever give up. Your life is too precious. You have too much to do, Yes, the waves are rough. There is no other choice but to ride them out. Important work is waiting for you when you get to shore. And you will get there. Providence will provide. Do you realize that simply going on is cooperating with Providence?
“Relying on God has to start all over every day, as if nothing has yet been done.” —C. S. Lewis
Whether you’re at the beginning of dysautonomia or somewhere in the middle, it’s ok. Don’t let the endless passing of time without progress lead you to despair. Linear time is an illusion. There is no tomorrow or yesterday. It’s all now. See yourself in your mind happy & healthy despite all appearances to the contrary. Don’t count the hours, count your blessings. Does that sound trite? It’s not. It is the truth of the ages.
Gratitude is the currency that buys happiness. There is no other coinage in this realm that can.
Even in the midst of a major setback you can still find something to be grateful for. I was always grateful I had a clean bed to lie on, a pillow for my head, & blanket to cover me. Better than being curled up in the fetal position outside in the elements, lying on the cold, hard, dirty ground, with concrete for a pillow. If nothing else, be grateful for each breath gifted you!
While the dysfunctioning autonomic nervous system is busy wreaking tumultuous havoc, you go right on opposing it with quiet resolve. Though you may not feel up to the task, I assure you, you are. As my husband always told me when I just couldn’t cope another second: “Welcome to the human race.” And in the second it took him to say that, I continued coping. You cannot fail unless you quit. And you’re not going to quit.
“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on – it is going on when you haven’t the strength.” —Napoleon Bonaparte
If you are dealing with dysautonomia you already have true courage – whether you know it or not. May God bless you & walk with you on your journey to wellness
Kindly share it far and wide. You never know whose life you may touch by doing so.
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This site is dedicated to my husband Bob. He is the love of my life, my business partner, my best friend in the whole wide world, and the nicest person you could ever hope to meet – if you were ever so fortunate as to meet him!
Bob has lived the dysautonomia nightmare with me for so long I doubt he remembers what it was like before he ever heard the word dys-auto-blahblahblah. After he heard the word, life was hard. He dealt with so much for so long without complaint. His unwavering support, love, & devotion is what kept me going in the bleakest of times. Without him, I would not be in this realm.
My husband is a deeply religious, humble, quiet, unassuming, very brilliant man. He’s the kind of man who knows the answer before anyone else, but doesn’t say it because he’s so polite. He’ll go a million miles out of his way for you & forget he needed something himself. He is snuggly warm, terribly tender, and extremely witty. I am so blessed to have him for my husband and so very proud to be his wife. He is my Why.
I must also acknowledge & thank my sister Melanie Weiss, & our wonderful parents John & Betty Passarelli, who sacrificed for years to keep me alive. I love you all so much and owe you everything.
“I know what it is to live entirely for and with what I love best on earth. I hold myself supremely blest - blest beyond what language can express; because I am my husband's life as fully as he is mine.”
